What You Can (and Cannot) Control During Cancer Treatment: The Control Inventory You Need

When Everything Feels Out of Control

The day I found out I had cancer, I felt like I'd been pushed off a cliff.

One moment I was standing on solid ground—planning projects, booking vacations, thinking about my future—and the next, I was in free fall. My calendar was suddenly filled with doctor's appointments instead of business meetings. My Google searches shifted from industry trends to survival rates. My conversations with loved ones became weighted with words like "treatment," "prognosis," and "side effects."

If you're reading this, perhaps you know exactly how this feels.

For those of us accustomed to being in charge—running departments, leading teams, managing households with military precision—cancer's chaos feels particularly cruel. It strips away the illusion of control we've carefully constructed throughout our successful lives.

"How can I possibly handle this?" becomes the question that keeps you up at night. "I can't control what's happening in my own body. How do I move forward when everything feels so uncertain?"

I remember thinking: If I could just organize cancer the way I organize my work projects, maybe it wouldn't feel so overwhelming.

And then I realized: Maybe I can.

Why You Need a Control Inventory Now

Here's a truth I discovered that transformed my cancer journey: While you can't control cancer itself, you can control your response to it. And more importantly, there are specific areas where your control directly impacts your outcomes.

The problem? Most women waste precious energy in all the wrong places.

They exhaust themselves researching every possible outcome (most of which never happen). They deplete their emotional reserves trying to manage other people's feelings about their diagnosis. They obsess over aspects of treatment that are entirely in their doctor's hands while neglecting the areas where their choices make a real difference.

The result is exhaustion before treatment even begins.

What you need is a systematic way to distinguish between what you can control, what you can influence, and what you can only observe with concern. This distinction—what I call a "Control Inventory"—becomes your roadmap through the chaos.

When I created my first Control Inventory, something shifted inside me. The paralyzing anxiety didn't disappear, but it loosened its grip. I stopped wasting precious energy fighting against unchangeable realities and redirected it toward areas where my actions could make a difference.

The Three Spheres You Need to Identify

The Control Inventory framework divides your cancer experience into three distinct spheres:

1. Direct Control: Your True Power Center

This sphere includes everything you have complete power over. Think of your thoughts, your questions, your daily habits, your boundaries with others, and how you prepare for medical appointments.

This is where your power lives. No matter what cancer takes from you, it cannot take away your ability to choose your response.

2. Sphere of Influence: Where You Have Impact

These are areas where you have some impact, but not complete control. This includes the quality of communication with your medical team, the support you receive from loved ones, and your body's response to supportive care strategies.

You can influence these areas through your actions and choices, but you cannot completely control the outcomes.

3. Sphere of Concern: What You Must Accept

These are things that matter to you but lie beyond your control. This includes the biology of your cancer cells, how quickly your body responds to treatment, and other people's reactions to your diagnosis.

Focusing too much energy here leads to frustration and stress, draining you of the energy you need for healing.

Why Most Women Get This Wrong

Here's where most high-achieving women stumble: they pour their limited energy into the Sphere of Concern (the things they can't control) while neglecting the Sphere of Direct Control (where their power actually lives).

You've built your career and life on taking action and solving problems. When cancer enters the picture, that same drive to control outcomes can actually work against you if it's misdirected.

When I was diagnosed, I initially poured enormous energy into researching every possible outcome, spending hours in online forums reading other women's experiences, and obsessing over every potential scenario.

Did this help me? Not at all. It exhausted me before treatment even began.

The true power of a Control Inventory comes from redirecting your focus and energy toward what matters most—the areas where your choices and actions make a real difference.

The Transformation Waiting for You

Creating and using a proper Control Inventory can transform your entire cancer experience. Consider what happened for my client Sarah, a 52-year-old marketing executive:

"Before I created my Control Inventory, I was spending hours every night researching survival statistics and worst-case scenarios. I was trying to manage everyone else's emotions about my diagnosis while my own were in chaos. I was exhausted, anxious, and feeling completely powerless."

"After identifying what actually fell into my Direct Control sphere, everything shifted. I redirected my energy toward preparing for appointments, creating daily self-care rituals, and setting clear boundaries with well-meaning but overwhelming friends. Within two weeks, my anxiety decreased significantly. I slept better. I made clearer decisions. Most importantly, I stopped feeling like a victim and started feeling like a leader of my healing journey."

Sarah's experience isn't unique. I've seen this transformation happen repeatedly with women who implement a proper Control Inventory system.

What You Need to Do Next

You need a Control Inventory system that:

1. Clearly identifies what falls into each of the three spheres for your specific situation

2. Provides a practical framework for daily decision-making

3. Includes strategies for redirecting your focus when you catch yourself spiraling into the Sphere of Concern

4. Contains methods for communicating boundaries based on your inventory

5. Offers techniques for finding peace with the aspects you cannot control

With the right system, you'll experience:

• Decreased anxiety and improved sleep

• Clearer decision-making regarding treatment options

• More energy for healing instead of worrying

• A renewed sense of agency in your cancer journey

• Stronger boundaries with others during this vulnerable time

This Is Just the Beginning

The Control Inventory is one of the many mindset tools I share in my book "Win the Fight." While understanding the concept can shift your perspective, the detailed implementation system in the book is what will truly transform your experience from victim to victor.

In "Win the Fight," you'll discover:

• The complete step-by-step Control Inventory system, including worksheets and examples

• Scripts for setting boundaries based on your inventory categories

• Daily practices to reinforce your focus on areas of Direct Control

• The "Reset Protocol" for when you find yourself fixating on what you can't control

• Real-life examples of how high-achieving women have used this system to transform their cancer journey

If just reading about the Control Inventory concept resonated with you, imagine what implementing the complete system could do for your sense of empowerment during this challenging time.

Your cancer story is still being written. Make sure you're the one holding the pen.

Best Shampoo for Breast Cancer Patients

Hair loss is a common side effect of chemotherapy, and it can be a distressing experience for cancer patients after having gone through cancer treatment. Hair loss typically starts 2-4 weeks after beginning chemotherapy. It may continue to thin gradually or fall out in clumps. It's a good idea to prepare mentally for this process. Using the same shampoo that you normally use for your hair type may be no longer be suitable as your hair and scalp changes during and after treatment.

So you may need to switch shampoo and ingredients before your new hair growth is established. While hair loss is often temporary, taking good care of your hair and scalp during this period is essential for it to grow back like how it was before chemotherapy treatment. One way to do that is by choosing the right shampoo specifically designed for the challenges you may face during and after chemotherapy. Many people use baby shampoo during treatment, but remember, just because it's for babies doesn't mean it's automatically a gentle shampoo. 

Rather than give you a list of different types of shampoo recommendations, it's important to understand what you're actually solving for and trying to achieve with a shampoo. But first we need to understand how chemotherapy works.

How Chemotherapy Drugs Can Affect Your Hair 

Chemotherapy drugs work by disrupting the cell division process, which is why they affect both fast-growing cancer cells and fast-growing healthy cells. Hair follicles, responsible for hair growth, are some of the fastest-dividing cells in the body (along with cells that line your gut). When chemotherapy drugs target these rapidly dividing cells, it can lead to hair thinning and loss. Not all chemotherapy drugs cause hair loss, and the severity of hair loss can vary from person to person. Some factors that influence hair loss during chemotherapy include:

1. Type of Chemotherapy: Different chemotherapy drugs have varying effects on hair. Some drugs are more likely to cause hair loss than others.

2. Dosage: Higher doses of chemotherapy drugs are more likely to result in hair loss.

3. Individual Sensitivity: Each person's response to chemotherapy is unique. Some individuals may experience minimal hair loss, while others may lose all of their hair.

4. Timing: Hair loss typically occurs within a few weeks of starting chemotherapy.

Ingredients to Look For in a Shampoo

When selecting a shampoo for post-chemotherapy hair loss, it's essential to pay close attention to the ingredients. Chemotherapy can leave your scalp and hair in a sensitive and fragile state, so choosing the right ingredients can make a significant difference in the health and regrowth of your hair. Here are some key ingredients to look for when you're looking for a shampoo and it's also important to know what stage of hair loss or hair growth you're at:

The Power of Biotin 

Biotin, also known as vitamin B7 or H, is a vital nutrient for maintaining healthy hair, skin, and nails. It plays a significant role in the synthesis of keratin, a key structural protein in hair. Biotin deficiency has been linked to hair loss and brittle hair. Here's why biotin-based shampoo can be beneficial for chemotherapy-induced hair loss:

1. Promotes Hair Growth: Biotin-based shampoos are enriched with biotin, which can help stimulate hair growth. While it won't prevent chemotherapy-induced hair loss entirely, it may contribute to faster regrowth once treatment is completed.

2. Strengthens Hair: Biotin strengthens the hair shaft, reducing the risk of breakage and promoting overall hair health. For individuals with weakened, post-chemotherapy hair, this can be particularly valuable.

3. Enhances Hair Thickness: Biotin-based products can increase hair thickness and density, making the regrown hair appear fuller and healthier.

4. Minimizes Further Damage: Chemotherapy may leave hair more fragile and prone to damage. Biotin can help fortify hair, making it more resilient to external stressors.

5. Supports Scalp Health: A healthy scalp is essential for optimal hair growth. Biotin-based shampoos can improve scalp health by reducing dryness and flakiness, creating a more favorable environment for hair growth.

6. Hydration and Nourishment: Biotin-based shampoos often contain other nourishing ingredients that hydrate and replenish the hair and scalp, promoting overall hair health.

Other Helpful Ingredients:

1. Natural Oils (e.g., Argan Oil, Jojoba Oil):

   Natural oils like argan oil and jojoba oil are excellent for nourishing the scalp and hair. They provide hydration and promote a healthy scalp environment. These oils also help in reducing dryness and preventing further damage.

2. Aloe Vera:

   Aloe vera is well-known for its soothing and healing properties. It can help alleviate scalp irritation and redness, which can be common after chemotherapy. Aloe vera also promotes a balanced scalp pH level.

3. DHT Blockers:

   Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) is a hormone linked to hair loss. Look for shampoos that contain DHT blockers like saw palmetto or caffeine. These ingredients can help reduce the effects of DHT on hair follicles and minimize further hair loss.

4. Provitamin B5 (Panthenol):

   Provitamin B5, or panthenol, is excellent for improving hair elasticity and moisture retention. It can help repair damaged hair and enhance its overall health. Panthenol also adds volume and shine to the hair.

5. Colloidal Oatmeal:

   Colloidal oatmeal is a soothing ingredient that can alleviate itching and irritation on the scalp. It's especially helpful for those with sensitive or dry scalps, which are common side effects of chemotherapy.

6. Sulfate-Free Formulas:

   Sulfates are harsh detergents commonly found in many shampoos. They can strip the hair and scalp of natural oils and lead to dryness and irritation. Opt for sulfate-free shampoos to maintain a gentle and nourishing hair care routine.

7. Fragrance-Free Options:

   Fragrances can sometimes irritate sensitive scalps. If you have a particularly sensitive scalp or are prone to allergies, consider fragrance-free shampoos to minimize the risk of irritation and opt for those that contain natural essential oils.

8. pH-Balanced Formulas:

   A pH-balanced shampoo is gentle on the scalp and helps maintain its natural acidity. This can prevent further damage and promote a healthy environment for hair regrowth.

9. Dermatologist-Recommended Brands:

   If you're uncertain about which ingredients to look for, choosing shampoos from dermatologist-recommended brands can be a safe bet. These products are often formulated with the expertise of professionals who understand the unique needs of post-chemotherapy hair.

Common Mistakes:

When searching for the best shampoo to use after chemotherapy-induced hair loss, it's crucial to be aware of potential problems or mistakes you might encounter to make an informed and effective choice. Here are some common mistakes that chemo patients make...

1. Choosing the Wrong Ingredients:

   One of the most significant mistakes is selecting a shampoo without carefully considering the ingredients. Avoid shampoos with harsh chemicals, excessive fragrances, or ingredients that may further irritate your sensitive scalp. Always check the label for nourishing and gentle components like biotin, natural oils, and soothing agents.

2. Not Reading Product Labels and Ingredient List:

   Failing to read product labels can lead to unexpected outcomes. Always read the label to check for the presence of key ingredients and to ensure the product aligns with your specific hair and scalp needs.

3. Ignoring Your Scalp Type:

   Different people have varying scalp types, such as oily, dry, sensitive, or normal. Using a shampoo not suited to your scalp type can exacerbate existing issues. For example, using a shampoo designed for oily scalps on a dry scalp can lead to further dryness and discomfort.

4. Skipping a Patch Test:

   Allergic reactions can occur even with seemingly gentle products. It's a mistake to skip the patch test. Apply a small amount of the shampoo to a small area of your skin or scalp to check for any adverse reactions before using it on your entire scalp.

5. Overlooking pH Balance:

   Scalp health is closely tied to its pH level. Using a shampoo that disrupts the natural pH balance of your scalp can lead to issues like dryness, itching, or an unhealthy scalp environment. Look for pH-balanced shampoos to maintain scalp health.

6. Not Consulting a Healthcare Professional:

   While general guidelines can be helpful, it's a mistake to rely solely on online information or personal anecdotes. Consult your healthcare provider or a dermatologist for personalized recommendations. They can consider your unique condition, medical history, and any potential drug interactions that might affect your hair regrowth.

7. Inconsistency in Use:

   Achieving the best results with any shampoo requires consistency. It's a mistake to switch between shampoos too frequently or to use them irregularly. Follow the recommended usage instructions and give the product time to work.

8. Expecting Immediate Results:

   Post-chemotherapy hair regrowth is typically a slow process. Don't expect immediate results from your chosen shampoo. It may take several weeks or even months before you notice significant improvements in hair texture and thickness.

9. Disregarding Overall Hair Care:

   Shampoo alone cannot work miracles. To support hair regrowth, you must also focus on a well-balanced diet, a healthy lifestyle, and gentle hair care practices. Neglecting these aspects can impede your progress.

10. Not Monitoring Progress:

    Keeping track of your hair's progress is essential. Take photos, make notes, or discuss your experiences with a healthcare professional. If you see no improvements or encounter new issues, it's essential to reassess your hair care routine.

The Best Shampoo Options During and After Chemotherapy

1. Nioxin System Kit:

   Nioxin is a well-known brand in the hair care industry, and their System Kit is specially formulated for thinning hair. This kit includes a shampoo, conditioner, and scalp treatment, all designed to promote hair growth and create a healthier scalp environment. Nioxin's products are known for their effectiveness in reducing hair loss and enhancing hair thickness.

PURA D'OR Original Gold Label Anti-Thinning Shampoo:

This shampoo is packed with natural ingredients like biotin, argan oil, and aloe vera, which help nourish the hair and strengthen the hair follicles. It's free from harsh chemicals and is gentle on sensitive scalps. Users have reported noticeable improvements in hair texture and thickness after consistent use.

Maple Holistics Biotin Shampoo:

Maple Holistics' Biotin Shampoo is enriched with biotin, provitamin B5, and botanical extracts that promote hair growth and reduce hair loss. It also contains DHT blockers to prevent the hormone responsible for hair thinning from binding to hair follicles. This sulfate-free shampoo is suitable for all hair types and is a great choice for post-chemotherapy care.

Aveeno Scalp Soothing Shampoo:

Aveeno is known for its gentle and nourishing products, and their Scalp Soothing Shampoo is no exception. Formulated with colloidal oatmeal and rosemary extract, it provides relief to irritated scalps and helps maintain a healthy moisture balance. This shampoo is perfect for those with sensitive or dry scalps after chemotherapy.

Cetaphil Pro Restoraderm Gentle Body Wash:

While technically a body wash, Cetaphil Pro Restoraderm Gentle Body Wash can also be used on the scalp. It is a dermatologist-recommended product that is soap-free, fragrance-free, and suitable for sensitive skin. It helps to replenish the skin's natural moisture barrier, which is especially important for those dealing with post-chemotherapy dryness and irritation.

Other Things to Consider When it Comes to Hair Loss 

Long Hair- If you have long hair you might want to consider cutting your hair short before your first chemo, or giving yourself a buzz cut so that hair loss isn't as traumatic. Cutting your hair puts you in control of your hair loss so this may be an empowering action for you to take. 

• Cold Cap Therapy: Some chemotherapy patients use cold caps to reduce hair loss. These caps are worn during chemotherapy sessions and work by constricting blood vessels in the scalp to reduce the amount of chemotherapy that reaches the hair follicles.

  • Protecting Your Scalp: If you choose not to wear anything on your head, be mindful of sun exposure. Use sunscreen or wear a hat when outdoors to protect your scalp from UV rays.

  • Choosing a Wig or Head Coverings: Some people opt for wigs, scarves, hats, or turbans to cover their heads. Consider choosing these before hair loss begins so you can match your current hair color and style if you wish.

• Emotional Support: Hair loss can have a profound impact on self-esteem and body image. Seek emotional support from friends, family, support groups, or a therapist who specializes in cancer-related issues.

While it can be emotionally challenging, many people find strength and resilience in coping with this aspect of cancer treatment. Remember that hair regrowth can be a slow process, and it's essential to be patient and gentle with your hair during this period. Consult with your healthcare provider or a dermatologist for personalized recommendations, and don't forget to complement your hair care routine with a healthy diet and lifestyle for the best results.

How I Handled Fear After My Cancer Diagnosis

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 29, I feared for my life.

No one close to me had been affected by cancer so I thought getting a diagnosis was a death sentence. Six years on, I know this is not true because I’m still alive and still NED, short for no evidence of disease.

But back then, when my doctor broke the news that the lump on my left breast wasn't  a fibroademona but cancer, those first few nights terrorized me. I was petrified.

What was I to do? I was in massive shock.

I wished someone had told me the answer all those years ago. 

Instead I had to work it out for myself. 

So today I want to tell you how I overcame fear, so that you can concentrate on what's important, which is getting your health back. 

So let's start from the beginning...... 

...... when I got the awful diagnosis of breast cancer. 

It was a strange feeling because it was the first time I had faced the possibility of death. But sitting in the doctor's office, alone, and feeling numb, my body was fine and physically intact. So how can death be so close?

Unlike in a car accident where we can suffer from major physical trauma and the end is quick, when we've just been diagnosed with cancer there is no bleeding, nor are we in great physical pain. I knew death was looming but don't really know when the exact moment will be.

And I think that's where the cruelty of cancer lies. We are in a great deal of emotional pain, not knowing what the future holds for us.

Telling family would have to be the top worst moments of my life. It was like breaking their hearts into tiny little pieces and not knowing how to fix it.

When I was diagnosed I was super young, in my late 20s and had my whole life ahead of me. When you're that young you feel invincible. Who thinks about cancer at that age? It wasn't a blip in my radar until cancer was right there  pressing down on my chest until I couldn't breathe.

What I feared most was dying and never achieving life's big goals and dreams. Never getting married, never starting a family , never holding a sweet newborn baby in my arms, and never growing old with my partner.

Six years on from diagnosis, did I beat cancer? Time tells me that I have.

Was I fearless? DEFINITELY NOT. 

I was afraid then, and I'm still afraid now that cancer will come back. 

I call the fear of recurrence as Post Cancer Stress Disorder (PCSD). And most women that have gone through breast cancer has it to some degree. Fortunately it decreases in intensity over time but unfortunately the fear stays with us for the rest of our lives.

Similar to war veterans that suffer from PTSD, hearing a loud bang will cause them to immediately drop to the floor.

With breast cancer survivors, every ache and pain....

..........We automatically think it could be a recurrence.

Any lingering fatigue from cancer treatment we feel......

..........We automatically think it could be symptoms that the cancer is creeping back.

So for those who are newly diagnosed, and those who are years out from their treatment, how should we handle fear?

Well.........

We often hear people talking about fear as something you should:

• fight off,

• conquer it, or

• punch it in the face.

Be fearless and fight cancer! Like we've signed up for extreme sports.

But what if we looked at fear from an evolutionary perspective?

---

Then we can see what fear truly is.

 A normal response to danger.

Receiving a diagnosis of cancer means coming face to face with our mortality. So being afraid and fearful of cancer is totally okay.  

We need fear in order to survive.

Remember all those times that your instincts saved your life?

• Don't dive into the black water.

• Don't catch a ride with that stranger.

• Be careful of that steep cliff face etc., etc., you get my point.

Yup, that was fear. 

Unfortunately, fear and other manifestations of fear (take anxiety for instance) is also there in our everyday lives, even if we're not in any physical danger.

The stress response that fear triggers causes massive changes in our biochemistry, which we commonly know as the fight or flight response.

Back in the good old days when we were cavemen and threatened by a predator, we were faced with two choices - we could either: 

1) Run away from the danger or

2) Stay where we are and fight the lion.

Regardless of which path we choose, the body’s response is always the same. The stress hormone, cortisol and adrenaline is released causing the heart to beat faster, blood vessels constrict to minimise any potential blood loss, fuel is mobilized from the muscles, our senses become heightened and the mind becomes sharp.

The reason our bodies respond in this particular way is to propel us into action. Biology doesn’t want our bodies to stand still, frozen like a statue. If we did, we will get eaten by the lion and perish.

Of course we are no longer cavemen and women and live quite safely without the threat of predators lurking at the front door. However, in modern society, the stress response is triggered by seemingly lame and non-dangerous situations.

• That dead-line you're scrambling to meet.

• An argument with the spouse

• Late for an appointment

• Overdue bills to pay

• Insert your own stressful life here _______.

So then why do we still feel fear when we're perfectly safe from harm?

Take public speaking for example.

Why are most people afraid of public speaking when we obviously know that we're not going to die?

At the very basic core, I think fear is an emotion that pops up when we don't know what the future will hold - we don't know what the outcome will be. 

And the only thing fear tells our mind to do is STOP.

Stop whatever it is we're doing......

......Stop. Stop. Stop.

So I think there's a disconnect between what our mind is telling us, which is to stop.

And what our biology is telling us, which is to keep moving - run or fight.

Often when people are paralysed by fear - this can manifest into all sorts of unwanted physiological effects - headache, nausea, and depression just to name a few. This also why I think so many of us have anxiety.

But we're getting a little off track here, so let's get back to the topic of this post.

How do we handle fear when we've recently been given a cancer diagnosis?

Our bodies DON'T want to stand still. Our bodies DON'T want to be a deer in the headlights.

But our mind says STOP. STOP. STOP.

So how do we keep moving?

Because we do need to keep moving.

We need to be making important medical decisions with a calm and rational mind. Because it's those decisions we make in the first few weeks that will affect the long-term outcome of our cancer treatments.

Ask any woman that's received a breast cancer diagnosis and she'll tell you those first few weeks are emotionally the toughest.

It's when you have to:

• break the news to family and friends.

• choose your cancer team,

• understand the pathology reports,

• make sure nothing is amiss from your diagnosis, and

• it's also the time to create a treatment plan with your doctors.

So how do we not let fear affect us negatively in those critical few weeks?

After years of contemplating I think I've finally figured out why some people can move forward so easily while others are held back.

"We need to be one per cent more curious than we are afraid."

Think about it: 

• Curiosity makes us look around dark corners and uncover a hidden gem.

• Curiosity makes us jump off an aeroplane and feel the exhilaration at plunging free fall.

• Curiosity makes us hike a torturous climb to the top of a mountain just to feel the breeze at the peak.

Basically curiosity will allow you to move forward and propel you to do things in spite of not knowing how the ending will be, in spite of you being afraid. It's ok to be afraid.

We don't need to be fear-less, but we can be brave when fighting cancer.

So how did I come to this realization about curiosity?

How did I know it was my antidote to fear?

Well I traced back to my footsteps 6 years ago. These four things that I'll mention were the things that got me through those first few weeks and .........

...............it all boiled down to my curiosity.

It helped that my background is a researcher, always questioning the hypothesis (or the status quo). But you definitely don't need a degree to be curious!

1 | What Am I Afraid of? ........ Really.

Sometimes our emotions can be irrational. Fear likes to hide in the shadows of the unknown.

So get specific about what you’re afraid of.

Obviously you’re scared of death, but what part of that is frightening?

Are you afraid of what happens to you during treatment? or the dying process?

For me personally, I was so scared of leaving loved ones behind! But when I talked about it out loud, I realised that if I died, it wasn't the end of the world.

Everyone will eventually move on with their lives. It was SAD, yes.

But scary? ..........Not really. 

Start getting deep with yourself and explore the root of these emotions.

Most importantly share those fears with people close to you, say them out loud and discuss possible scenarios if things take a turn for the worst.

How will that actually eventuate in real life? Perhaps it wasn’t as scary as previously imagined.

2| If Cancer Was a Puzzle, There Must Be a Solution. 

I truly believe that we need to be our own advocate and make medical decisions together with our doctors. Our doctors are our educators, our medical partner and facilitator.

However, the reins are still mine and yours to take. 

Just because a person wears a white coat and have a medical degree doesn't mean they are faultless. I have great respect for the medical profession, but most women including myself were given only one option for treatment.

From my experience there's always more than one way to do something.

You see, the doctor usually gives you the option that he thinks is BEST for you - which usually means making assumptions about you. 

It's your job to figure out what these assumptions are and whether they are true or not.

Whilst alot of women will come in for a consult, distraught and expect to be told what to do,  I gained more respect from the doctors when I was able to be calm and come in prepared for the consult.

My oncologist half jokingly said that he had to prepare himself before our consults, because I always asked the tough questions!

However, in order to effectively do this, it's important to not let fear paralyze our minds.

We need a lot of brainpower to solve this cancer puzzle. Otherwise, in the end, we will be left with odd pieces that don't mean anything.

We want to be our own advocate and not regret the medical decisions we've made along the way.

3| Why Can't I Be the Exception?

The internet can be a scary place when searching for information on your exact type of cancer. Words like “aggressive” and “fast growing” kept popping up in my searches. I even went further and looked at survival statistics on triple negative breast cancer patients. Let's just say the odds weren't in my favour. 

One night as I was googling away in front of the computer, I managed to come across a breast cancer forum. Each person that logged in could write specific details about their cancer journey under their user profile. They had dates of diagnosis, details about their treatment such as the names of chemotherapy drugs and how many radiation treatments they had. It just so happened that a woman that was active in the forum was a triple negative breast cancer survivor for 15 years and to this day still NED!

So I asked myself, why not me? 

Why can't I be the one that survive this? 

Simply knowing there were long term survivors made me forget about the statistics. I realized that everywhere in nature, there were huge variations in everything! Even two people with the same subtype of cancer that received the same treatment can have vastly different outcomes. 

This is because they have different genetics and more importantly they lived in two separate environments.

Technology isn't here yet to enable us to change our genetics.

But we can alter our lifestyle. 

So I came to the realisation, there must be something that I'm doing to contribute to the cancer growing.

Despite my oncologist telling me that I've done nothing wrong, I honestly don't believe in bad luck. Bad luck just means we are helpless to help ourselves.

I really needed to know what those factors are that contributed to my cancer, and more importantly how to avoid them so as to avoid a recurrence later on! Which leads me to my last question. 

4 | Was This a Wake Up Call To Take Care of Me? 

This was the one question I was really excited about to find the answer. Looking back, even though I was in the medical field, I really had no idea what health looked like. Over the previous years my body had deteriorated so badly. I felt lethargic, my skin was covered in pimples, I had bad migraines and I was constantly sick with a cold. 

Now that I was diagnosed with cancer, I had a great reason to ditch the bad lifestyle habits. 

I truly believe cancer is a symptom when your body breaks down.

I never took care of myself, I was always stressed out. Cancer was my internal warning system telling me to wake up and start taking care of myself.

So before I started my treatments I raided the bookstore and stumbled upon a book called Anticancer A New Way of Life by Dr David-Servan Schreibber.

I questioned all my beliefs about food, exercise and how it contributed to health. I evaluated my whole lifestyle and started making changes. 

Often women and in particular mothers are so good at taking care of others that they often neglect to take care of themselves. Remember those safety procedures in a flight emergency? It’s critical you put your own oxygen mask on before you help others.

Don’t you think it’s time to start putting yourself ahead of everyone else - because if not now then when?

So there you have it. The four things I was curious about that helped me move forward after a breast cancer diagnosis. I promise you that curiosity will be your new best friend, IF you'll let it guide you in your cancer journey. I will end this post with a quote from Albert Einstein. 

"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious"

Now I would like to hear from you in the comments section below. How did you react to your breast cancer diagnosis? Do you have an antidote to fear that you would like to share with us? 

PS: If you like this post don't forget to share this article!