The Art of Thriving with Cancer- Part I: How to Feel Confident in the Face of Uncertainty
Too much certainty in life makes us feel bored.
Too little certainty, and we spiral into anxiety and panic.
For those of us given the cancer card, uncertainty becomes a constant companion. We don’t know if we’ll be here tomorrow, in a month, or in a year — and that thought alone can make us double over in fear.
Of course, no one really knows how long they have. Any of us could be hit by a runaway bus tomorrow. But we don’t think about that every day. With cancer, we do.
The Exhaustion of Living in “Maybe”
After diagnosis, every day becomes filled with questions:
What if the treatment doesn’t work?
What if tomorrow is the day it comes back?
What if I never get the all clear?
The waiting feels endless. One, two, five, ten years of holding your breath until you can exhale. Living in this state isn’t really living — it’s existing, enduring, barely moving forward.
No wonder panic attacks, breathless anxiety, and sleepless nights become so common.
Why Fear Shows Up After a Cancer Diagnosis
Here’s the truth: we will never live a life without fear. Once diagnosed, that fear is always there — sometimes as a roaring flame, sometimes just a faint pilot light.
Fear’s job is to protect us. The problem is, it often oversteps. Instead of keeping us alert, it paralyzes us. We go into defensive mode. Some of us even curl up in the fetal position emotionally, vowing never to be blindsided again.
But here’s the shift: you don’t need to be disappointed in yourself for being scared. Fear is human. The key is learning how to live alongside it, without letting it dominate your every step.
The Hardest Part: Starting from Zero
The start of the cancer journey is always the hardest.
Your confidence is blasted to ashes. You don’t trust your body, your health, or your future. You feel like you’re standing at ground zero, unsure if you’ll even make it.
But like anything hard in life, the only way forward is small steps. Quivering, shaky steps at first. But step by step, confidence grows.
Nobody wakes up with a full tank of confidence. It’s built — layer by layer, win by win.
👉 Pro Tip: Start celebrating your small victories, no matter how tiny. Each one becomes a building block for confidence, and slowly the fear loosens its grip.
The Two Battles You’re Really Fighting
Every cancer journey has two parallel battles:
The Body Battle – fighting the disease with treatment.
The Mind Battle – fighting despair, fear, and hopelessness.
Both matter. Both deserve your attention. And thriving means taking your mental battle seriously, not treating it as “secondary” to the physical one.
The Four Pillars of Confidence
Over the past fifteen years since my diagnosis, I’ve discovered four core areas that shape whether you feel stuck in fear…or confident enough to thrive. Conquering these four factors will help you move forward with poise, grace and dignity - despite what the outcome will be.
Your Beliefs – Your unique experiences, memories, and emotions create the lens through which you see the world. They shape your self-talk.
Your Mindset – What you choose to focus on daily is the biggest game-changer in how you tackle challenges.
Advocating for Yourself – Speaking up with your healthcare team ensures your concerns are heard and your choices respected.
Your Healing Journey – How you recover, rebuild, and redefine your “new normal” determines how you move forward.
These are the four pillars of confidence. Strengthen them, and you stop just surviving — you start thriving.
I’ll dive into each of these pillars in my next post, but here’s the most important reminder: confidence doesn’t appear all at once. It’s built slowly, win by win.
Trifina Sofian is a life coach specialising in cancer recovery and mindset management. She helps cancer survivors be in the best state of mind to beat cancer and maximise their healing potential. Trifina can help you reprogram your mind to conquer cancer and help you build a more positive state of mind and body. Check out her new book Win the Fight Against Cancer - How to Master the Mental Battle HERE.